My thinking sometimes is that people around me should be working on something. This leads me to think, what should I be working on that I don’t realize I should be working on? I’ve been trying to find that answer, aside from my best guesses of meditation, hard work, and physical training, self observation, prayer, charity.
But perhaps more fundamentally, what I need to be working on is not working on anything. If those people are working on anything, and I see that they aren’t working on what I think they should, then surely to some degree, they may just be working on not working on anything. And who am I to judge the advantages or higher calling of such work?
A bit after I first drafted this article, this bible verse found its way to me: Matthew 6:25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds in the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable then they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?”
This verse hit me.. the thought that I shouldn’t worry about these details; that God provides the essentials of life without a concerted effort on our part. That we can release that worry and effort, and instead use that time in relaxation or elsewhere.
As I enjoy helping those around me work on themselves or their weaknesses, they can likewise teach me not to work so hard on myself or find fault in myself. If I instead were to go around expecting others to help me work on my own weaknesses as I do for them, this is like trying to balance the yang with more yang. In this case, they do not have yang to offer, nor do I have a need to receive it.
The advantages of not working on anything might be: more time to dedicate to others around us. How can we expect to offer anything to others if we spend all our time and energy improving ourselves? What we give, we receive. And as the yin yang example shows, we can receive from others what we are not able to give ourselves.
Another advantage is that it prevents us from judging. When we’re hard on ourselves and working on ourselves, we tend to be harder on others and work on others, without simply appreciating their beauty as well as our own. Ben Franklin’s quote, a cornerstone of stoicism, reads “Search others for their virtues, thyself for they vices”.
This is good advice, and we can adopt it, with balance of course. We shouldn’t lose sight of our own virtues, nor completely ignore the vices of our close friends. At times, we should be easy on ourselves to help nurture our own growth, and a bit challenging, constructively, to our friends when needed. If we are to give others the respect of treating them the way we would like to be treated, we cannot so greatly vary it for them and us. We should challenge them as much as we feel they are able to handle. Tact can also go a long way. As Mary Poppins said, “A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down”.
When others are unwilling or able to receive some challenge, this is a good time to offer grace knowing that we have planted a seed that needs time to sprout. We can redirect that energy to apply the lesson to our own lives, leading by example while tasting our own medicine.
This all relates to another concept on my mind, that in order to train harder, physically for example, we should relax harder too. As above so below; the yang and yin. if we want to reach great heights in training, we should deepen our roots in relaxation and meditation, to build a firm foundation. Physically speaking this means spending time still, relaxing, or meditating, to regenerate our body and build up the energy for execution later. This could prevent us from burning out, as may happen to athletes or entrepreneurs. It may also aid our style or form, making us more efficient in our physical movements, especially with some meditative visualization of our activity. Also, it should help our mental activity and focus, helping us train better.
As Master Chang and Master Ron taught us at Chang Karate School, “tension relaxation”. They intended for us to be loose and relaxed in our fighting stance, but ready to attack at any moment, concentrating all the force into an explosive and quick attack.
A tree can only grow so high with its roots so deep. So, relax in enjoyment of the life we have received, and conquer the mountains you yearn for. Both are worthy ways to spend time. Each are essential for the complete success of the other, culminating together in balance for the wellness and development of our Being.
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