intentional mistakes

In life, we make mistakes. In terms of what we should have done, we might think, “Ah, I should have done this, to not make the mistake.” But actually what it is, is that we were supposed to make that mistake, and learn from it. Because when it really counts is the next time we encounter the situation, where we will be ready.

In this way, it is easier to see that what happens to us in life is not what defines us, but rather our response to it (a la Epictetus, stoic philosopher). It’s not the mistakes that we inevitably make in life, but how we learn from them. We can learn from them better if we devote our energy to the recognition of the mistake and what we will do next time, instead of beating ourselves up for it, regretting it, and thinking how things would be if we had not made it.

Another consideration, is that by just recognizing the mistake, you’ve already grown from it. You’re already moving forward in life with a new mind state, without having to take any concerted effort… and perhaps that is enough. You have exercised your humility.

It could be that every step we’ve taken in life has been in the right direction. The life we’re living is the one we’re destined to live… not the countless parallel ones of the alternative choices. Imagine that, being right where we need to be right now and nowhere else.

Perhaps even alternate paths lead right back to where we are anyway, like braided channels of a stream.

Beating ourselves up for our mistakes might help us avoid them, but at a cost. We could overcompensate and swing the pendulum too far in the other direction, losing touch with our fundamental truth. On the other hand, we shouldn’t deny our mistakes either, lest we repeat them.

So forgive yourself, observe yourself, and perhaps imagine what you might do differently next time; something closer to your fundamental truth. The mere feeling that you made a mistake is guiding you in the path of your longings. So try being thankful for it, ride out the suffering, and enjoy your freshly realigned trajectory.

edited October 18, 2023